Why Can't Things Be Normal?

From Sunday, December 30th

Heck, I don't even know what normal is. But 8 days of Highs on my CBEFM and no + opk. I am getting frustrated, honestly. I know its totally stupid to be frustrated but I am! I just feel like I'm going to be that one who is never normal w/ TTC or anything! (i'm having a down day obviously) I feel like I'm ovulating. I'm the most crampy today that I have been in the past few days, my CM seems watery (altho that could just be from bd last night but it came on all of a sudden). I was really hoping that the monitor would say peak today, i just FELT like it should. GAG.

My temp did dip this morning, maybe I just will NEVER get a peak on my monitor.

Worst part is we are going out of town tomorrow and staying in a hotel w/ family. That makes the bd department kinda rough. DH doesn't know it yet but we are going to bd tonight, and at the crack of dawn in the morning before we leave town that way we are covered. We will be back Tuesday night so thats not an issue.

I think I'm just getting antsy. I know that my bloodwork is in 7 days and I know that if they don't detect ovulation they will give me Provera again and start me on Clomid. The clomid thing is fine with me, its the Provera that pisses me off. AF could take another 60 days and I dont want that!

I guess TTC is TRYING to teach me patience, although I don't think I'm there yet.

I guess I'll go pop in the movie we rented, keep feeling these weird twinges in my side, and maybe do another OPK this evening to see if I can hit my surge.

I just feel like my body is telling me its ovulating...

I don't even know what normal is anymore, I just want to ovulate BEFORE my bloodwork.. and early enough they can detect that I did!!!